Before Time Had Weight
Before becoming a father, time felt flexible.
Days were busy, but they felt expandable. If something did not happen today, it could happen tomorrow. If a weekend slipped by too quickly, there would be another one soon enough. Time existed more as a background condition than something I actively thought about.
I noticed it mostly when I felt short on it, not when I was using it well.
There was always an assumption that things would slow down later. That there would be a future version of life where there was more margin, more space, more room to breathe. Time was something I planned to manage eventually.
That illusion disappears quickly when a child enters your life.
When Time Becomes Visible
Becoming a parent does not automatically make time scarcer, but it makes it more visible.
Moments begin to stand out in sharper contrast. You notice how quickly routines form and how quickly they change. You recognize how something ordinary today will quietly become a memory before you realize it has passed.
A morning routine that feels repetitive becomes comforting. A bedtime habit that feels simple becomes meaningful. Days stop blending together in quite the same way.
You begin to feel time instead of assuming it.
This awareness brings clarity, but it also brings responsibility. When moments feel more finite, how you show up during them starts to matter more.
Attention Is the Real Currency
One of the biggest shifts for me was realizing that time itself was not the issue. Attention was.
I started noticing how often my attention was divided. How easily I could be physically present but mentally elsewhere. How frequently small distractions pulled me out of moments that deserved more focus.
Parenthood has a way of exposing these habits. You see them clearly because the contrast is obvious. A child responds immediately to presence and absence. They do not care about productivity or efficiency. They respond to engagement.
That realization forced a recalibration. Multitasking stopped feeling impressive. Efficiency stopped feeling like the right goal.
What mattered more was whether I was actually there.
Slowing Down Without Falling Behind
There is a fear that slowing down means falling behind.
Parenthood challenged that assumption. Slowing down often created better moments, not worse ones. Conversations lasted longer. Small routines became grounding. Even silence felt more comfortable.
Respecting time did not mean abandoning structure or responsibility. It meant resisting the urge to rush through everything by default. It meant letting certain moments unfold without immediately trying to move on to the next thing.
That shift began to spill into other areas of life. Listening improved. Patience increased. The need to constantly optimize faded.
Time became less about management and more about intention.
Redefining a “Good” Day
Before becoming a father, a good day was often defined by output.
Things completed. Boxes checked. Progress made.
That definition has changed.
Now, a good day often includes presence. Engagement. Moments that do not necessarily
produce anything tangible but feel significant nonetheless.
This does not mean ambition disappears. It means perspective widens. You start measuring days not just by what happened, but by how it felt to be in them.
Time stops being something you try to control and becomes something you try to honor.
What Time Has Taught Me So Far
Parenthood did not give me more time. It gave me a different relationship with it.
It taught me that attention matters more than efficiency. That presence matters more than speed. That small moments deserve respect simply because they exist.
Time is not something to conquer or optimize. It is something to inhabit.
And that shift has changed far more than my schedule. It has changed how I move through life.
About the Author
Blake Scherr is a Financial Advisor with Merrill Lynch. He lives in Falls Church, Virginia.
Outside of work, he enjoys skiing, travel, live music, and cooking, and he is a devoted and perpetually tormented Maryland sports fan.
How Becoming a Father Changed the Way I Think About Time 